Loss
by detective-giggles
Summary: 2 Short Stories written for my college english class. Olivia and Alex's POV during Loss. My first SVU story! Spoilers: Loss from season 5
1. Olivia's POV

A/N: Okay, my first SVU fic, it was written for my college English class. Basically we had to pick any scene and write it from 2 different POV's. This one's Olivia's POV. SPOILERS: Loss, episode 4 from season 5!

You slowly stepped out of the black SUV. The blonde hair that usually graced your shoulders was pulled back tightly. I stared silently without blinking, searing the image into my mind. Your pink scarf. The brown jacket and blue jeans. And the black boots that I'm sure were mine at some point.

I stood there in shock, my mouth slightly open. Tears burned my eyes. There's so much I wanted to say…that I tried to say to you.

"I'm so sorry about all of this," you said sincerely. You looked from me to Elliot and then back to me, asking our forgiveness.

"Your funeral's tomorrow," I managed. I was aware that I was crying, but I wasn't coherent enough to brush the tears away.

"And your both expected to attend," I nearly jumped; I had forgotten about the Federal Marshals guarding their charge, "For the time being, Ms. Cabot's better off dead. If Velez can get to Zapata, he can get to her." Elliot reached the conclusion before I did.

"Witness protection."

My mind struggled to wrap around the concept and I felt like I was drowning. I needed a life jacket to save me from the current of emotions that threatened me. When you stepped out of the car I was surprised, but grateful that you were alive. I was scared, knowing that a midnight rendezvous couldn't mean good news. I've been wishing for a second chance; I had so much I wanted, no, needed to tell you, and when I had it, I couldn't speak.

For the past three years, you've played such an amazing role in the lives you've touched. You've been a colleague, friend and confidante for our entire unit. Alex, you've always stood behind us, whether we were right or wrong. You've always trusted us; we've never given you a reason to doubt. Now I feel like we've let you down.

"How long?" I finally asked; knowing that question might never be answered.

Always composed, you simply shrugged. I've always admired your grace and poise and, since that moment, I've admired your strength. Especially with everything you've been through these past few weeks. You've had a few days to think about the news, and I'm sure you've already cried all your tears.

"We're on the move, sorry folks. Move them out," he ordered. The Marshal opened the door for you. I wanted nothing more than to stop you, even for just a few seconds. Instead I watched solemnly as you slid into the vehicle. You looked at us, a silent reassurance that everything would be okay. They shut the door and I watched as the SUV pulled away, taking you –whoever you are now- for your second chance.


	2. Alex's POV

A/N: Okay, my first SVU fic, it was written for my college English class. Basically we had to pick any scene and write it from 2 different POV's. This one's Alex's POV. SPOILERS: Loss, episode 4 from season 5!

I remember when I was little, I used to play games with my brothers. If something didn't turn out right, a roll of the dice or whatever, I used to call a "do-over" and that usually fixed things. Looking back on the Zapata case, I wish I could just stand up and yell "do-over" to make all this chaos end.

I sat in the SUV, looking anxiously out the back window. I recognized the car immediately, you guys were early, as usual. I reached for the door handle and stopped.

I've never been very good at good-byes; I don't know why I insisted on seeing you. I told myself it was for your benefit, but I know that's not true. You've already gone through the pain of losing me once, and now I walk back into your life, just so you can say good-bye again.

The door opened and I slowly climbed out of the car. For the longest time you just stared, trying to decide if I was real or just an illusion.

"I'm so sorry about all of this," I said. You'd argue it wasn't my fault; that was your style. Realistically, all of it was my fault. Donovan's death. My 'death'. You and Elliot told me to forget Zapata. Your boss told me to forget about it. My boss told me to forget about it. Even DEA Agent Donovan ordered me to drop the case. I've always been stubborn. That's just my style. Being an attorney, it's almost a necessity.

"Your funeral's tomorrow," you manage. It was weird to hear those words out loud, even though Alexandra Cabot's been dead for two days. I look at your tear-streaked face and I immediately regret coming back. Maybe I'm selfish, wanting to see you one last time. Maybe I'm selfish for leaving.

I listened as Agent Hammond instructed you to attend my funeral. You continued to stare at me helplessly. I know you wanted to say so much, but you didn't have to.

Elliot finally spoke, "Witness protection."

"Until Velez is extradited or otherwise dealt with," I parroted. I've heard that line too many times in the past two days.

"How long?" You struggled to ask. I shrugged; that question has been running through my mind incessantly.

For the first time since we decided that the witness protection program was necessary, I started to second-guess my decision. I don't have any family in New York, aside from my Uncle Bill. You guys are there to make sure I don't spend holidays alone. You try to make sure I don't work too hard. And you even call to check up on me when I'm ill. That makes you family in my book. Friends and family are what make my life worth living. What good is being alive if I don't have friends to share it with?

The marshal opened the door again, "We're on the move. Sorry, folks. Move them out," he gave me a gentle push towards the car. I gave you one last look, a silent goodbye before climbing into the SUV. Hammond slammed the door, causing me to jump, and sending a sharp pain through my injured shoulder.

I know you, you'll stand there until my car disappears, probably longer. I can't bear to look back; every second I remain here, I'm one step closer to calling this whole thing off. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes. They say when you have a near death experience, your life flashes before your eyes. Rather appropriately, as we pulled away, my memories with your unit flooded my thoughts. As we drove off into the unknown, a strange feeling of peace settled over me when I thought of you and the unspoken promise between two friends.


End file.
